Breaking the Mold

Talk about a recipe for confusion! Forget "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." Take a masculine personality, focused on the now and transformation of experience. Now ask him to solve a problem with a feminine personality, seeking continuity and attempting to balance impact over past and future events that press in on her as if embedded in a thousand layers of gauze. He is going to think she is irrational. She is going to accuse him of insensitivity.

Now put a man with a man. They tear into the job to be done. The goal is in mind, but they adapt with agility to every little problem that arises. Not much is said. The focus is on the doing. When they are done, they separate, charging off to their individual dens and families - and the next problem to solve. With the same or other men? It doesn't terribly much matter.

And with women? They start their association with an exploration of the basis for temporal resonance. They aren't really communicating. They are attempting to open to one another. They are exploring the depth of the context they share in the past, and the extent to which they can align their futures. But once they get there, they are tied together. Unless some man comes along to tear up the contract, they are committed to the future as they have negotiated it.

As in any unsustainable polarity, those that can cross the divide are influential in measure far beyond their absolute importance. The Queen Bee and the Witch Master are two extreme examples. Then there are those that surrender themselves to ministration of the wounded: ministers, psychotherapists and prostitutes.

But is the divide fundamental?